| We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question. Some of the best responses are below. Dear Carolyn: As background, in my last relationship, I really cared for the guy, but he physically was not my type, and I was not attracted to him. I tried to get past that because he was such a great person in all other ways. Finally, I broke up with him when I realized I would never love him the way he loved me. Now, three years later, I wonder if karma is coming to get me. I’ve fallen head over heels for this guy who is affectionate and sweet; I know he likes me. But he rarely, if ever, tells me I’m beautiful, or that I look great in the dress I’m wearing, or anything like that. To me he’s the sexiest, handsomest man in the world, and I compliment him all the time, but he doesn’t reciprocate. Maybe he just has a hard time verbalizing his feelings. Maybe talking isn’t his “love language.” He holds my hand all the time and snuggles with me at night, tells me he misses me when I’m not with him, kisses me tenderly, cooks me wonderful dinners, helps fix my car … all those supportive partner things. But I yearn to hear him say, “You look so beautiful tonight,” and I’m afraid to ask whether he feels that way. I know he was betrayed by his last girlfriend, so I’m not asking him for any kind of commitment. But I know from experience that you can’t force physical attraction no matter how much you want to. Am I being ridiculous? Should I just accept that he’s not a talker? I can’t stand the thought that he doesn’t find me attractive. — Limbo |
