The wackiest headlines from the week as they would appear in a Classifieds section. Careers ISO COIN COLLECTOR: A Texas highway had to be shut down for 14 hours this week after a semi truck carrying 8 million brand-new dimes tipped over and scattered across the road. The shiny mess was cleaned up with heavy-duty vacuums used to suck up sewage spills, which made the freshly minted coins nearly as dirty as the ones in circulation. NO VACATIONS: A California prison dentist who retired last year scored a $1.2 million payout from cashing in his thousands of hours of unused vacation time. He has a lot of making up for lost time in his golden years. Personal GET UP: A new study found that sitting for more than six hours a day increases your risk of neck pain. The riskiest screen-based activity was looking at your phone, while watching TV didn’t increase risk at all. But these scientists would change their conclusion after seeing how we watch TV. SOURDOUGH IS ALLOWED: Goop, there it is. Gwyneth Paltrow is back to eating bread and cheese after sticking to a strict paleo diet. LOST BEATRIX: Workers renovating a town hall in the Netherlands likely threw out a 1980s print of of the nation’s former Queen Beatrix made by Andy Warhol, the mayor admitted. The artwork was worth almost $17,000 so, if everyone can kinda stop what they’re doing and look around one more time, that’d be helpful. For sale DINO BAG: A group of luxury brands and biotech companies claims to be creating the first bag made of extinct T. rex leather by extracting collagen from ancient fossils. Finally, something to match your Great Auk boots. TEACUP UPPERS: A man was arrested after attempting to sneak what police said was a “bulky wallet full of cocaine” into Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. MANDATORY WINE: At Bangkok’s Gaggan, the No. 9-rated restaurant in the world, you don’t get the luxury of deciding whether you’re feeling gin or vodka. Sommelier Vladimir Kojic chooses the drink that will accompany your meal. And don’t you dare ask for more ice.—MM |